Senator Cory Bernardi and the Call of the Wild
Senator Bernardi also stood by his controversial comments last year that the "next step" after recognising same-sex marriage was to support "creepy people" who chose to have sex with animals.
"Bestiality, of course it was an extreme example, but once again it's linked to the radical agenda of the Greens Party," he said.
So Cory Bernardi thinks that there's a link between homosexuality and bestiality. (He's silent on heterosexuals but who knows how far his thinking has taken him?)
So, now that he's identified this hitherto undiscovered problem, what is he going to do about it? Well, maybe, if he's serious about his unusual, if not bizarre, proposition he might want to make our four footed friends a little less tempting. Perhaps he might want to start a movement to clothe animals - not all of them, of course, just the ones he thinks are more attractive. I'm assuming that lower orders like fish and insects would be out of the question, but he might want to consider throwing a pair of strides on an ape or a bra on a cow.
He could take a morals delegation on a tour of Taronga Park Zoo and identify those subhuman species that he believes would excite the passions of otherwise law abiding citizens. Surely it wouldn't be too difficult to have the orangutan enclosure sealed off from the prying eyes of lascivious gays. He should move quickly, before they do harm to themselves and the monkeys by leaping the fence to have their way with some unsuspecting primate. He might want to have a go at getting a bikini onto a hippo. I'd pay to see that.
The Royal Easter Show would provide real challenges for the organisers as they decide who should be allowed into the horse pavilion. I'd think that the farmyard nursery would have to be closed off to our kiddies and of course, the Grand Parade of Animals would have to be banned.
He might want to establish a group - Parliamentarians Against Naked Indecent Creatures (PANIC). They could look at proscribing books, television programs and even nursery rhymes. I'm thinking of such lecherous offerings as "Animal Farm", "All Creatures Great and Small" (which should go on day one) and of course "Old McDonald Had a Farm". Any documentary featuring David Attenborough wouldn't make the cut either...
So, that's the challenge Cory - see you at the zoo.